Children are our future

Harrison, Lelia, Melissa, Elizabeth

My oldest daughter Elizabeth and my son Harrison returned this week from twelve days in South America where they enjoyed winter snowboarding and exploring in Chile. They saved their own money, and planned their own trip, and I tip my hat to the pair. My middle daughter Melissa just left to return home to Salem, Oregon. She had been visiting us in Seattle, taking a break from her empty rental house (roommates will be moving back in several weeks). It's good she has a great grasp of dealing with less than ideal situations. My youngest daughter, Lelia, has been popping in and out all weekend - I think she prefers to be around people other than her parents (go figure). Nineteen going on totally independent.

On the other end of the spectrum, is Gramma Jane. My wife's mom has become a part of our household while waiting for her apartment in a new Senior community to be finished. Her move-in date is the 22nd of August. I know she will only be six or seven minutes away, but I'm beginning to realize how much I'll miss having her here in our home.

Together we watched an eighty's television movie on TNT called The Shadow Knows, which was based on an early radio show. I was trying to figure out the time frame in which the movie was supposed to be set by looking at the cars. When I made the comment to her that it looked like the movie was supposed to be in the late thirtys and early fortys, she said, "No, it wasn't - I know what people wore during the late thirtys, and those clothes are older than that!"

Yep, I have great hope in the future, but somehow I've learned that confidence comes from the past.

The alternative to life

It isn't enough that the AARP hounds you to join the masses of the aged in their organization once you pass fifty. They must be driven by some sense of civic duty to send your name and address to any group that deals with the waning years of life.

Today I received this encouraging note from the Neptune Society:
"Dear Richard,
For a variety of reasons, more and more people are choosing cremation over traditional funeral arrangements."

I'll admit I'm not as open-minded and adventurous as my wife, but for some reason, every part of my innards are screaming I'M NOT READY FOR THIS ! As I read through their literature, I become irratated and uneasy. I'm not too complex a person - yet, how can I respond to their persuasion that "cremation is simple"? And, although my name is Rich, I'm anything but wealthy. Still, their claim that "cremation is economical" sounds demeaning and repugnant. But the worst part of their info - that "cremation is dignified", makes me want to never again be dignified so long as my body is warm.

Doesn't anyone know I'm still working on my mid-life crises? How can I possibly start addressing my end-of-life issues? I certainly like to make lists and carefully plan events, but even I'm not anal-retentive enough to wrap up all my "loose ends" quite yet.

And then, despite the fact that all this anxiety about the future has made me sick to my stomach, I notice the fine print at the end of the letter. Maybe these Neptune people are not as pushy as I thought for, in the gutter of their missive, is this delightful disclaimer:

"Please accept our apologies if this letter has reached you at a time of serious illness or death in your family."