Ben and the Christmas Spirit

Today, while delivering my mail route, Ellen, a customer of mine, walked up to me from her house about 1/2 block away. She was somber, and I immediately knew she wanted to tell me something very important. "Rich" she said, "I need to tell you that we had to put Ben down this morning". I was in shock. Bennet is their 8 year old black Lab, a hulking, robust dog with a personality as big as Seattle. She explained that he had started having seizures early in the morning, and by the time they got him to the vet, the seizures were lasting up to 10 minutes. The vet said the convulsions were destroying his body, and that they should say good bye to their family member. I gave Ellen a hug and we both stood on the corner crying at the loss of such a gregarious life being terminated so suddenly. I asked her how her husband, Tom, was doing. She said he was completely lost. Ben and Tom always travelled together on foot thoughout Magnolia, and I immediately felt a great wash of compassion and empathy for Tom.

I felt it was very important to go buy a sympathy card to send to the family....Tom, Ellen, and their daughter, Elli, and because my route is close to a Bartell's Drug Store, I made a bee-line to the store. Looking through sympathy cards I began to get irritated because most were too wordy, or indicated the relationship, ie: "For the Loss of your Mother", and then after looking at a dozen or more, I found the perfect card. Simply worded, concise of meaning, compassionate and hopeful. But I was feeling pressured because of the time I had already spent in the store, and needed to quickly get back to finishing my route.

There were three cashiers helping people...#1 had 6 people, # 2 had just called for manager's assistance, so I chose the third line. Only two people were in front of me...a tall, 40-ish clean-cut man, who the cashier was helping, and an Army Colonel from nearby Fort Lawton, dressed in her Army camos.

As the man's order was being bagged, he looked to his left at the Colonel, and turned back to the cashier and said "And I'm paying for her purchases also."

The comment caught the rest of us off guard. The Colonel immediately said to him, "Oh, no, thank you, but no." The man pressed..."Yes, I am paying for her items". The Colonel, unflustered stood her ground. "No, that's very kind, but No, I'm paying for them". A third time, the man calmly said, "Yes, I will be paying for those items" and again, was answered with "No, thank you, I'll pay for them".

Something truly powerful was happening in front of me, and the air was thick with grace, and tension, and tenderness. The cashier was frozen like a statue, not wanting to butt-in, or comment, or mediate.

I was still overwhelmed by the emotion of a family loosing their best friend, and tears welled up in my eyes.

I turned to the Officer, put my hands on her shoulders, and said" Yes, he IS going to pay for your items, and if he doesn't, then I will!" It still was not enough...the Colonel started to balk again. I continued... "Sometimes the toughest thing in the world is to just do nothing and say thank you. Today, you get to do nothing and say thank you."

She softened, nodded her head, and the cashier begain to ring up her items. The short, 20 seconds lasted an eternity. The cashier told the man the amount, he paid, and then asked, "Are we finished?" The cashier nodded yes, he turned to the Officer and said "Thank You for serving". The Colonel reached out and embraced him, he smiled, turned, and left the building.

The Colonel then turned and hugged me as well, and I stepped back and saluted her. She gathered her bags, thanked the cashier, and also left.

It was done. The spirit of Christmas had unfolded in a short 3 minutes of dialogue, an unexpected gift given, with the observers present filled with awe and appreciation for selflessness. As I left the store, I could hear all the cashiers and customers talking about what had just happened. Store of wonder, store of might.

I will truly miss Ben. But I will always have that drug store conversation and it's sense of wonder and rightness embedded in my heart and mind.